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My God, what a surprise! And what a year! After winning a Tony for my critically acclaimed one-woman show and a Grammy for my Cee-Lo produced debut pop album, I never expected to be recognized for my debut in el ciné. When I was a girl, I used to imagine winning the Best Actress Academy Award for a screenplay I’d penned myself and here I am. Thanks again, by the way, for the Best Screenplay award earlier tonight. I’m speechless!

When Marty Scorsese called to beg me to adapt my book to the big screen, I was absolutely floored. How could I be so lucky to work with a master? But when Marty asked me to star as the lead, my first inclination was to turn him down. I mean, I hadn’t acted since high school. But I guess if anyone knows talent when they see it, it’s M-Scor.

Really, I couldn’t have asked for more supportive leading men than Robert DeNiro? – I call him Bobby – and Sean Penn – I call him Seanie. I share this award with you, boys! And the rumors about Clooney and me are far from true. I’m a one-man lady. Admittedly, he was quite the flirt on set. But all this tittle-tattle about my rejecting his advances driving him to the bottle? Petty gossip.